Lately I have been struggling with what would seem like minor life decisions, yet to me they are huge. And why...because I put so much pressure on myself to please everyone and not hurt anyone's feelings. I am sure that at least 90% of you can relate, especially as women. No I am not saying that men don't feel this way but case and point, I talk to Kyle about an issue going on and he says just ignore it until it blows up. As you can tell, he is not losing any sleep over these issues ;)
It's such a tip toe subject when it comes to certain areas and unfortunately that is just the way it is. And I am just as guilty of it. I am so worried about how people will perceive something that I say or do and I do not want to make anyone feel left out or hurt their feelings. I truly believe that most of us feel this way when it comes to relationships with loved ones and friends to even things that we do in our everyday lives.
I am an independent consultant for a book business and the other day I found out that a good friend of mine held a party with a different consultant. At first the sting was a little too much and then I sat myself down in the chair and thought, how pathetic is it that I would let something as little as her supporting another consultant cause hate and discontent in our relationship. Maybe it was something as simple as the other consultant offered her a deal she couldn't pass up, maybe she was trying to help this consultant find her feet in this business (lord knows plenty of you have helped me get a boost and I will be forever grateful for that), or maybe it was simply that the other consultant asked instead of assuming. Did my friend mean to hurt my feelings or "go under me" for anything...ABSOLUTELY NOT! She is just doing the human thing of helping someone out and getting some amazing things in return.
You know how I handled this situation...I did nothing! I didn't message her and ask why she chose to go with someone else. I didn't message our mutual friends and ask if they knew why she chose to not use me. I didn't make a big deal about it and you know why. Because it's none of my business and our friendship means more to me than that!
I wish more people could be that way instead of taking everything to heart without knowing the whole situation. My sister-in-law owns a local sports bar that serves dinner and drinks. Yet, sometimes we choose to eat at the local BBQ joint. She doesn't throw a fit or a tantrum about it because she understands. It is people like this that I am so lucky to surround myself around.
I always think of business owners (food), photographers, independent consultants (31, KEEP, books, etc). I love and support all of you and will continue to, but that doesn't mean that I won't be supporting others in the same business from time to time. Doesn't mean I don't love you and don't want you to succeed, it just means that I like to try things with different people and support everyone
So please the next time anyone does something that hurts your feelings (including me), please take a moment to step back and look at the whole photo. Reach out and talk to me about it because I would be more than happy to explain why I did what I did. Please do not go around holding grudges or telling people how awful we are. That solves nothing! Please remember that just like me, maybe your market is more competitive than you think it is and even though your friends ventured out to others, they are still going to support your business in other ways. Don't let something as simple as a minor issue blow into a major issue that could not only cost you a client, but an amazing friendship all the same.
**Let it be known that if you choose to buy books from another consultant for whatever reasons...GOOD!! You know what is more important than you just buying books from me...it's getting these good quality book into the hands of your loved ones!! I do ask that you at least share your favorites so that I can get them into the hands of my little loves :)
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