Wednesday, December 27, 2017

Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places


These past few weeks the stresses of this wonderful time of the year have gotten to me. The gift buying, the traveling, the trying to be here for everyone and do everything had me running circles. Of course this caused me stress and who do we take it out on…the ones we love. Kyle and I have been having little “spats” as they call it at least every 4 days and I know that we both said things that we are not proud of. I felt like he hadn’t stepped up or helped me out around the house. I felt like I was doing absolutely everything and he was doing nothing.

Now let’s take a quick pause here and all take a deep look into our lives. I know that all of us (husbands, wives, mothers, fathers, etc) have all felt this way a time or two. That we are the only one that do anything and never gets any thanks. We put away all the laundry, do all the dishes and cooking, pickup when we can, and get no thanks for it. I know that I have felt this way many times before and I would bet to say that so has Kyle. It’s hard not to look around the house and think about all of the things I do or all the times I have to pick up after Kyle when he doesn’t. It’s so easy to get sucked into that “I do everything all the time” thought process. Stress seems to do it to me.

And then BAM!! I get sick…and not just a little cold with a sniffle here and there but a full on sick. ParaInfluenza according to the doctor. And guess what…guess what that selfish man that I mentioned above does…he steps up!! He steps up and helps out. And then reality slaps me right in the face…that selfish man that I thought was putting all of life’s pressures on me and making me run around do everything, was actually doing the opposite. He was silently helping me complete small task. He was doing laundry when he could and he always tried to help when I cooked. He normally does the dishes and that man can clean a toilet better than anyone I know (thank goodness because I hate cleaning toilets). I had spent so much time focusing on all of the stuff that he wasn’t doing instead of focusing on the things that he was doing.

On Christmas Eve Eve 😉 we were spending time with his family to celebrate Christmas. I hadn’t felt good all day but we headed over. I was exhausted and just wanted to go home and cuddle up on the couch. Kyle got down, helped the kids, changed diapers, packed all the bags up and at 10 when I gave him the look like I could possibly be dying, he loaded the kids up and got us home. Told me to go straight to bed while he stayed awake, got things unpacked and put away.

On Christmas Eve, he doted on me all day as I didn’t move from the chair. He loaded the kids up and took them down to my family Christmas by himself. Had them video chat with me so that I could watch them open gifts, and then brought them home that night and put them to bed.

On Christmas morning when the kids woke up he made them breakfast and had them wait to open Santa gifts until I woke up and then helped them get everything ready for them to head down to celebrate.

Can I tell you all something…I changed my first diaper today (Wednesday) since last Friday! Say What?!  Tuesday after going to the doctor and life had semi calmed back down after the holiday high, Kyle came up and asked me how I was doing. And of course I turned into a blubbering mess apologizing for everything and thanking him for everything.

I know this won’t be the last time that I feel that I am the only one doing everything nor will it be the last time Kyle feels like he is doing everything. That is just the circle of marriage. What I will try and do next time is to truly sit down and take a good hard look at what all he does. I encourage all of you to do that with your significant others. From one selfish person to the next, I hope you know that if you have ever had these feelings that you are not alone. For me and my family, I am going to try and start paying attention to all the little things instead off only focusing on the big!!

**Kyle has no idea I am writing about this and doesn’t like to take credit when credit is due. I do have one of the most selfless husbands around and sometimes it’s so easy to get caught up that I forget to tell him how truly wonderful he is!! I am definitely blessed!

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